duet song wedding

Itapos;s not about spiders this time


This one requires explanation. Please trust me. XD


So Iapos;m playing Ocarina of Time while talking to Kate on MSN. ...so I brought up a few weird points which escalated to us concluding something along the lines about this game having to be rated something higher than E because itapos;s definitely not a childrenapos;s game. Think about it. Ganondorf and his leather fetish amongst a crew of angry, sword-wielding lesbians. Linkapos;s constant verbal abuse by being called Fairy Boy by Malon and his peers, not to mention the creepy princess with the visions who tells him heapos;s going to save the world with his Kokiri Kidney Stones. ...then thereapos;s the whole apos;skipping pubertyapos; bit. Waking up in tights with sudden urges and hair in weird places and Naviapos;s going to have to explain the ENTIRE THING to him. Poor fairy, I actually feel sorry for her.

...So Link decided to take up ballet instead.

Anyway, I got to the point in the game where youapos;re in Hyrule Marketplace right before the castle, about to go see the princess.

Malon is all "O hay, pls go wake up my dad, Iapos;ll give you this egg." Link receives whatapos;s called a "Weird Egg."

--

raine - keep moving forward says:
thereapos;s somethign moving inside said egg.

raine - keep moving forward says:
...

raine - keep moving forward says:
wut a weird GAME

Kate says:
link: I HOPE ITZ A DINOSAUR

raine - keep moving forward says:
ONLEE A VELOCERAPTOR

raine - keep moving forward says:
...

Kate says:
yes

raine - keep moving forward says:
i can send it after my enimeez

Kate says:
theyapos;re the dinosaurs that GET SHIT DONE

raine - keep moving forward says:
LOLLOLLLLL

Kate says:
well iz troo

Kate says:
i donapos;t see veggiesauruses doing squat, really

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So today it has been exactly one year since my mom died of cancer. One whole year. I havent seen my mother in a year, and i wont see her again till i die. I was thinking that all day and it was so sad.

So today, to honnor my motherapos;s memory, i curled my hair, and wore all pink. No black at all, except for my finger nails lol. It was pretty emotional and i almost cried during school, but thanks to some very good friends- a lot of good friends actually-who were armed and ready with hugs, i didnt break down.

Till i went to the cemetery. I actually thought i wasnt going to be able to go, but my ex-step dad(?) Doug took me. We stopped by ingles and bought a boquet of flowers and they were beautiful, i picked em out. The whole way to the cemetery i listened to my "suffering" playlist on my iPod. I have music to match my moods.

I had barely put the flowers in the vase by her head stone when all the tears i had been holding in all day burst out. There was just this overwhelming grief�that tasted like mid-summer, when i dropped into my deepest depression, and it kinda sucked. Ok, it really sucked. So for about 10 minutes i just cried until i couldnt cry anymore, or breathe through my nose. I looked one more time at the grave and walked back to the car so Doug could have some time alone.

In the car i cried a lil again�(so much for no more tears, eh?) and i ended up praying. I prayed because i was sad and missed my mommy, because she got to go to heaven and i was still stuck on crappy, ozone deteriorating, suicidal�bombing�earth, and i cried because a samll part of me held some doubt. Some doubt that God didnt exist and there was no heaven and therefore i would never�see my mom again( Lord, please forgive me). But i know, deep down inside, that God and Heaven do exist and iapos;m going to be there one day, right beside my mom.

I thanked God for bringing my mom to heaven, and asked him to keep her safe for me always, and then Doug came back and we went out to eat.

I really have to say, that afternoon was one of the most heartbreakingly beautiful scenes of my life. The colors and softness and emotion were just so tangible that�i felt like my mom was all around me in every aspect of what i saw. I tend to get really sentimental and nostalgic around this time of year, i think its my very favorite and most dreaded season. Odd, isnt it?

And on the way home, a single star appeared in the twighlight sky, and so i made a wish. I even said the little chant thing. The "i wish i may, i wish i might" thing. And so here i am, content and at peace, hoping for a better morrow. Iapos;m pretty sure it will be -_^
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So this has somehow or another become an effective way of communicating with people again...this time i am not isolated by my teen angst and gay witchery but by actual distance.

Itapos;s been ok here, I somehow managed to find my way onto my bossapos;s shit list but thereapos;s really nothing she can do that is worse than Marshallapos;s...mainly because I make good money here (ugh I canapos;t believe that Iapos;m calling $8/hr good money).

The cats are ok I guess, Banshee is affected by her allergies nearly as bad as I am, her eyes take turns gooing up which is both cute and really gross...for such a pretty cat she gets afflicted with an awful lot of ailments that repulse me. My uncleapos;s cat Tabitha (still tossing around new names for her) needs a lot of attention and there are some days that I just donapos;t have it in me, Iapos;m still talking to mom and dad about trading her for Penny.

The main drawback is that Iapos;m not good enough friends with anybody here to actually hang out so I spend a majority of time either driving into Waterford and trying to entice people into coming over. I still need furniture like crazy, iapos;m thinking of asking mom and dad for a cheapo couch or somesuch for christmas, actually make the living room a good place to hang out.

well my dishes are done cleaning so i must see to them.

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Morwen wanted to cuddle a lot this morning. As much as Iapos;d like to think itapos;s entirely because she just loves me so much, realistically, I have to figure that it was at least partly because the temperature in the apartment had gotten down below 55 overnight. The heater came on today.

Hopefully Iapos;ll be proven wrong tomorrow morning though...it was nice. :-P

If not for the facts that I donapos;t have a lot of space and that Morwen (allegedly) doesnapos;t get along well with other cats, Iapos;d probably have another one by now. Sheapos;s too sociable for me not to worry about her when Iapos;m not around. I mean...she doesnapos;t eat when Iapos;m gone (unless Iapos;m gone for a while). When I give her her food and head into the shower, or go outside for something, sheapos;ll wait by the door for me to get back, and wonapos;t start eating until Iapos;m in the room.

Maybe I just need to move in with someone who has a cat....that way she might not feel like she has to share me. :-P


Doing a lot more exploring of religious issues lately. The trip to Magus on Friday was interesting, mostly because of a couple books I got....not to mention the one borrowed from Naomi (thanks...even though you never come on LJ anymore, and probably wonapos;t see this). Havenapos;t really made many changes to my beliefs lately...mostly just reaffirming whatapos;s already there. Definitely looking forward to Samhain, though.


Still looking for someone to have an in-depth discussion of comparative morality, social norms, and the like. Seems like most people would rather talk about lighter issues...current events, humorous moments from the day, etc. Philosophy gets pushed to the back way too much.


Had the day off with nothing to do today...that doesnapos;t seem to happen much lately. Itapos;s nice just to sit around and do nothing once in a while. Made some rather excellent soup in the crock pot...itapos;s been a while since Iapos;ve done much cooking. Iapos;d almost forgotten how much I enjoy throwing a meal together sometimes.


I need to get a 2009 calendar. Not sure what kind I want, though. I guess I have plenty of time to make a decision, but Iapos;d like to get it out of the way early.


Iapos;d been keeping my pumpkin inside in hopes of keeping it from rotting out for as long as possible (considering that itapos;s been wet a lot lately). Itapos;s outside now, though, since I noticed that even inside it was getting soft in places, and the inside was just a bit moldy. I donapos;t expect it has more than a couple days left at this point, but at least itapos;s outside for a bit before the end. Iapos;m definitely going to do something else before the month is out...just havenapos;t decided exactly what yet.

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....then I wouldnapos;t have to stress any more about this university application. I have to give a reference. And right now that thought is just doing my head in....because I donapos;t have anyone, well...thereapos;s my Japanese teacher I guess...but I only see her once a week and she can barely speak English anyway. I dunno what iapos;m gunna do about this....I suppose iapos;ll have to give them a call and see what they say....

One good thing about the application though is that for art they actually give you an entry project which you have to work on and then present at your interview, I like this kind of motivation :D ...now, if only I can just get an interview "Sorry...only those with a reference get an interview iapos;m afraid" ....*GASP*

ooh ...watched the film apos;Be Kind Rewindapos; yesterday as itapos;s part of the penny movie festival line-up....what a beautiful movie that was. Itapos;s really funny....but itapos;s also a great film overall aswell and it makes you want to pick up a camera and make your own film. I wish hollywood would churn out more decent stuff like this rather than the usual crap they come up with....

---------------------
apos;Oh lord Amaterasu, god of everything and mother to us all....please grant me the power to draw....as my skills are so rubbish right now.apos;
---------------------

Sooo...the government is tightening their belts with regards to immigration, and everyoneapos;s saying itapos;s about time....to be expected of course....but watching the news I couldnapos;t believe how many people confused everything and brought skin colour into the equation. It makes me really angry when people make racist comments and donapos;t even realise it...even when you explain to them why....

....of course I rarely say anything because thatapos;s just me...iapos;m a quiet one....but even I have my limits. Hopefully no one will ever make me cross that line.

Right...iapos;m gunna have to go to bed now anyway...itapos;s 3:30am....so...what are the chances of me dying in my sleep tonight I wonder?
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I donapos;t know how many people Iapos;ve mentioned it to, but here it is (again). Just over two weeks ago I went to the doctor and told her all about my year and she told me sheapos;d ultimately like to put me on a mental health plan (meaning regular visits to a psych), but because I canapos;t afford two $200/hr visits a week, she felt the more appropriate option would be to put me on a course of anti-depressants. To start with Iapos;m on only half a tablet, once a day. But Iapos;m ashamed to say Iapos;m incredibly sensitive to even half a tablet. My motivation is slumbering, my body is numb (physically), and while I couldnapos;t care about some things, others still get under my skin. Iapos;m not laughing as much, but I havenapos;t cried, either. Iapos;m still lonely, but Iapos;m not acknowledging it so often. I forget things even more (who knew it could happen?) and while Iapos;m inspired by things I see, I find myself unable to create.

Iapos;m afraid.
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So I suppose this makes the second time this year that Iapos;ve visited Six Flags Elitch Gardens.

The first time I was with a group of friends for a party. We hit up almost every ride in the park; and now I can say Iapos;ve been on every single attraction. I also learned that, besides the Twister, I�have a huge aversion to roller coasters. The last metal one that went upside down that I�had gone on had me sobbing by the end of the ride. I�hated it; and I�vowed never to get on another one like it again.

Everything else Iapos;ll try at least once though. If people think that coasters are the only rides out there that can freak the shit out of everybody, boy do they need a decent amusement park. And when it comes to every other ride, Iapos;m hardcore. Heh...hardcore.

I went with my family this time. A very interesting outing. We didnapos;t fight or bicker or argue about who was more of a burden on everybody. We just had some good clean fun, and watched all of the zombies and monsters, accompanied by an awesomely painted hearse, parade through the park once the sun set. And the Halloween garbage that they had; it was SWEET. :3 Iapos;m fairly sure that it doesnapos;t matter if a personapos;s seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre; once they hear one start up, they know EXACTLY what it means, and that its time to haul ass. Some dude with white and red (bloody) makeup had a chainsaw without a blade and was going around scaring the shit out of everybody. I took a picture of myself with some guy dressed in what looked like a curtain of seaweed. Iapos;ll bet underneath all that green crap and makeup, he was a darn good looking fella.

So yeah. Six Flags. Halloween. Think I�should be like every other bimbo in town and use the holiday as an excuse to dress like a slut? <3

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